Healing

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Tonight I said a prayer. I said a prayer to thank God for my many blessing. I said a prayer to watch over three beautiful souls who will never be far from my heart. And shocking to myself, I said a prayer tonight for my ex husbands new fiancé. I prayed that she has the strength to survive him. I prayed that maybe, against all odds he won’t hurt her, lie to her, cheat on her, break her, the way he did me. I prayed that she would love those three beautiful babies I’ll never see again and continue to make them wonderful people. I prayed that if the bottom of her world falls out that she has someone to turn to. But most of all, prayed that I could move on. I feel selfish praying for myself to heal.

Tomorrow I start my first day of my third quarter in nursing school. Inside I’m half terrified of the future and the unknown and the other half of me is in awe that I’m actually making progress. The last few years have left me broken and it’s always amazing to see how far I’ve come. I don’t think I stop enough to appreciate who I am. I need to work on that.

It’s sort of surreal to sit back and think that I am 6 months into my 2 year nursing program. Time is flying by. I am so truly blessed by the people and opportunities in my life. I have a very select group of amazing friends who have seen me through my darkest hours, new friends who are helping me grow, and a family who supports me in everything, both emotionally and financially.

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