When I was 22…

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stranger than fiction

I suppose that I should let the world know why I’m here and hurting; why the way I am the way I am now…

When I was 22 I was delusional. I was a full time student, lived at home, had a car mommy and daddy paid for, a best friend I spent all my time with and a dream of marrying a handsome man who would sweep me off my feet.

I met Patrick May of 2009 while I was in school as a Pharmacy Tech. We met online and I instantly was drawn to him. Marine, single, devoted father, handsome, sweet, charismatic and silly. He had all of the things I thought I wanted. He made me feel special and wanted and living in a home with a family you feel invisible with it was perfect. We talked for a few weeks and finally met and he was even better, just a little short. But a few weeks into our relationship he dropped the bomb… transfer. He was being restationed across the country in Pensacola, Florida, 2000 miles away. Worse yet, his ex wife would be just 30 minutes from there in her home town. We were devastated but vowed to try. So later after he left and I got a phone call that he was buying me a plane ticket to see him I was excited. It was 1 way…

I graduated school in August and boarded a plane the next morning to go on the biggest adventure I had embarked on. The moment I landed my entire life changed. I was greeted by my loving boyfriend Patrick, as well as his 3 kids; Eithan (6), Ayden (5), Jayce (2 1/2). Can you say instant mom? I settled in that night and woke up the next morning to Patrick leaving for work at 4am and me taking care of 3 kids I’d only ever spent a week with. I was out of my mind! Yep, it was called love.

Life was bliss for awhile until the first time he started acting weird. He was distant, standoffish, avoided me, and kept his phone with him at all times. Thinking this was weird I finally got up the courage and dropped my morals enough to snoop and what I found had me in tears… several dating sites with messages back and forth and emails. I lost it and freaked out on him to the point where he deleted everything and it stopped for several months. And then it started again… and again… and again… and again… Don’t ask me why I never left because I’m not completely sure. Maybe I just didn’t want to go home with my tail between my legs, I didn’t want to leave the kids, or I was truly just in denial. And to make matters worse I had to deal with the ex wife from hell, but that’s another story. Short cut to later, my idiotic self caught him, again, on a dating site and actually packed to leave and somehow we ended up married and were blissfully happy for a short time. What an idiot I was.

Obviously now I just sound like a sad, desperate little girl, and oh how I wish I had stayed in that blissful place after getting married. Instead who I thought was my squared away, exceptional Marine, great father and doting husband went off to South Carolina to teach and ended up with a DUI… after being at a strip club. Awesome! In the meantime myself and the 3 kids headed to California to visit family and he was to meet up with us. Unbeknownst to me he is sent back to our home base in Florida and told by his command that he won’t be joining the kids and I in California. What does he do you ask? He calls his ex wife to vent to and ends up having sex with her! But wait, that’s not the worst part…

On Monday, June 27, 2011 my world shattered. I was woken up that morning by my ex’s Captain asking me if there was anything that he could do. Not knowing what was going on I politely asked the Captain to let my husband come to California. He then cleared his throat and awkwardly said “Mrs. Quick, I don’t think you understand. Your husband was arrested last night for trying to having sex with a minor. He’s currently in jail.” I’m fairly certain I quit breathing but I have no idea what the rest of our conversation was. The next thing I know my little sister, big sister and one of my closest friends are over trying to console me as I sob uncontrollably. It was all over the internet and my best friend all the way out in Georgia even saw the headlines.

http://www.northescambia.com/2011/06/breaking-two-dozen-men-arrested-during-child-sex-sting

http://www.fox10tv.com/news/sex-sting-nabs-25-in-florida-panhandle

**Yes I realize it may look bad posting the new links but don’t look if you are offended. These stories are just a few that broke and are about as a reminder and a warning to people. I want people who find this hard to believe to be able to confirm everything I write if they feel the need**

To be honest I don’t remember much of what happened after that phone call. It’s all whirlwind… Bits and pieces come back though– moving my stuff home, going to the jail to see him, dealing with his family and his ex, moving the kids in with his parents. My mind has blocked most of that period of my life out though to keep it safe. All I know if my life changed with just a phone call. All of my happiness, bliss, love, hopes, and dreams were shattered in that moment. This new life I’ve created since is my testament to myself and the strength I have. I try not to look back but not a day goes by that I’m not reminded in some way that life is not what you make it but in fact made by those are you. Every day is a struggle and I am still working through the pain and issues that one man caused. I just hope talking will allow me to heal.

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